I'm still alive!

I know it may not seem like it based on my entries here, but I am still alive. I have been extremely busy over the last few months and I am so excited for the next few to make it here.
My birthday is on Friday and our anniversary is on Sunday. And while I will not be alone on Friday, I will be celebrating alone on my anniversary. The husband is still deployed, even though it is for only a few more weeks. He has been gone for nearly a year, and our anniversary just makes that seem all the more noticeable. I do get to go out to dinner with my Dad, Brother, and Sister in Law on Friday and I am getting a massage on Wednesday- which I desperately need. I was so stressed out prior to A coming home on his mid-tour leave that I started getting sick, gave myself stress ulcers and was just down right bitchy. But not this time. I am getting my massages, I get to play with my kids 3 days a week, and I have plenty to keep me busy between quilts, Wookie, school, and my grandparents.
A lot has changed since A was home on leave, I moved out of my apartment due to some very unfavorable decisions on my roommate's part, and moved in with my grandparents. Its actually pretty nice, they love my dog, and they keep her entertained all day and she keeps them entertained while I'm at work. Lucky for me, she is a very well behaved dog, and she loves her Papaw. I also no longer work for Delta Airlines, it was too stressful and too much bullshit to put up with for 40 hours a week making $1700 a month. So now, I work 1/3 of the hours, for 1/3 of the pay (so same rate) and I am HAPPY. I love the school I work at, I love the kids, and the staff. I have learned so much from them in such a short period of time. The only downside is that my job is 45 miles from my grandparents' house, so it is a bit of a drive but I'm perfectly content to make the drive for the time being. I'm getting that much needed experience, and it has let me know that this is definitely something that I want to do with my life.
A comes home soon! Only a few more weeks and he'll be here, and we can finally take that honeymoon that we didn't get to take last year. We are going to Hot Springs, Arkansas for 5 days the week of Thanksgiving. Sorry Family, but we will not be at Grandma's for Thanksgiving. We are staying in a little cabin in the middle of no where, apart from everyone else, and will just enjoy being together. I am so thankful for him coming home to me, and being safe and healthy. Apparently he has lost close to 40 lbs the last time that he weighed himself, and I could not be more proud of him. He is eating healthier and working out, and I don't have to worry about him as often.

Please try and help me keep busy for the next few weeks until my love comes home to me, and keep me from stressing myself out if at all possible!!

Scentsy Launch

With encouragement from my friend H that I was in boot camp with, I have become a Scentsy Consultant.
I am extremely excited to get my starter kit in the mail this week and hope that all of my friends and family will embrace this new direction in my life and spread the word to their friends.
My website is here and will be available 24 hours a day, obviously since it is online, for any of your home, car, or personal fragrance needs!!

Dont forget that Mother's Day is this Sunday, and you still have time to place your orders for those last minute gifts in case you forgot to get mom something already.

Again I Turn to Thoughts of Babies

As anyone who has ever spent more than an hour with me can attest to, I like to be prepared. Since we have come close to the halfway point of my husband's deployment and so very close to his leave, I have started getting checked for any medical issues that may arise to delay or inhibit getting pregnant. On one hand, I really wish I hadn't done this. Primarily for the reason that I am alone in dealing with it, even though I do have the support and comfort of my Aunt K, my sisters in law K and T, and a couple of the ladies at work. It is not the same as being able to have my husband there are the doctor's office holding my hand, or holding me when I cry because things are not as they should be.
I have done the hormonal tests, and everything seems ok, even if they are not the numbers they would expect to see from a 25 year old. I've said it for years and no one ever believes me, but my body has aged faster than the calender. Nearly 2 weeks ago I went to the doctor and they did a procedure that injects a dye into the uterus and fallopian tubes to check for blockages or tears. I see the images on the screen and I only really see 1 full tube, the other simply looks like a ball barely beyond the uterus.
Today I had my consultation with the doctor (which I have been freaking out about for the last 2 weeks) and she recommended surgery. For the life of me I can not remember the name, but basically they will put a camera in through my navel then make 2 punctures at my public line (one on each side) and try to figure out whether there is scar tissue or what ever is blocking the tube and fix it.
To be honest- I'm scared. I've never had a surgery that required anything more than opening my mouth. I've had my tonsils removed and I recovered quickly, and I've had my wisdom teeth removed but I was awake for that. I know this is an outpatient procedure, and that the recovery time is usually 48-72 hours but I am still very, very nervous. All of the "what ifs" keep plaguing my mind. What if I cannot have children? What if something goes wrong? What if after the surgery there is something else that goes wrong?

**5 days after starting this post***
My surgery is scheduled for Tuesday the 10th. I was hoping to get it done on Monday so I can do nothing all day Tuesday, but that didn't happen. Lucky for me I sit at a desk all day for work and answering phone calls/making reservations does not require much moving. I'm very nervous about this still, but a coworker/new favorite friend and my Aunt K both said they would be there with me if I need/want.

Hypocracy of our society

Sparked by a conversation we had Friday night after work, and due to the fact that I dwell on thoughts until I get them out, I must vent that I find out society to be extremely hypocritical.
Women have all of the power when it comes to children, child support, adoption, abortion, etc... Men have no legal right to tell a woman to keep a child, to abort it, not to put it up for adoption, anything really. If a man and a woman get pregnant, and the woman tells him she wants nothing from him- no contact, no child support, no nothing- she still has every legal right to change her mind at any point and require him to pay her money later on down the road.
If she decides to put the child up for adoption, she doesn't need the signature of the father (unless they are married) since she has every legal right to not put a name on the child's birth certificate. But should the father not want to be legally connected to said child, he has no option unless the woman agrees to have his rights severed in court and has another man willing to accept legal responsibility. But there are women that want the man to have nothing to do with the child except to send HER money every month. Not money for the child, but for her.
Our legal system is extremely screwed up when it comes to the rights of biological donors (male and female), I wont call them parents because that is a personality rather than a form of genetic connections. I'm not saying that people shouldn't take responsibility for their prior actions, but the court systems, child support offices, and such should also be reorganized to ensure that non custodial parents are not being raped by the custodial parents.
Put the money for child support in a separate trust for the child, in the name of the child. I'm definitely not saying that all single parents abuse the power that they have and are simply wanting to have more money in their pocket to do other things for entertainment, but there are enough of them that I think this does need to be implemented. You cannot tell me that you are a single parent struggling to take care of your child when you travel around the country going to cities every month that are at least 300 miles away from where you live, and spending $500 on Christmas presents for a 2 year old. I'm sorry but if you are struggling to get by, then you can't afford to do all of that. Especially when everyone knows exactly how much money you make and  your housing and utilities are free plus you get paid for food.
Its ridiculous when a woman tells the biological father of her child that she wants nothing from him, then finds out he is no longer single then demands child support (over a year after the last time they saw each other in fact). It is even more ridiculous when the legal system set in place to protect the rights of the child allow its practices to exploit the rights of the non custodial parent.

Great Week

Today is the first Friday at my new job with Delta. It has been a long week, but I have to admit that I really did enjoy it. I have gotten up between 04-0430 every morning, and have either gotten home after 9pm or around 3-430pm depending on the day. Needless to say after going from work to school on Monday and Wednesday, I was exhausted the next days at work.

 Today was even better because I got to pick up some of my ceramics projects. Some didn't turn out so great, like my trivet/coasters. But its ok, because who really looks at a trivet? You don't even see them underneath the pan.

 I made my dad a popcorn box. While not really practical for actual popcorn use, it is the right side for pens or straws or something else like that. The color didn't really work out as I planned, but I do like the result. I dunked the container in the glaze and it should've dried in a few minutes, but it was still soaking wet an hour later so I sponged off a lot of the wet glaze. This did result in a worn and weathered look rather than a nice, shiny color like you see inside the "g" in Big Al's name.












I also have a cute little bowl on the potter's wheel. I am very proud of this bowl, I didn't think I would be able to make a relatively even, balanced bowl so quickly on the wheel. I love the blue, it is so deep and vibrant. I don't remember what color I used on the bottom but it looks as though there was no color what so ever. Again, it may not have been intended, but I do like the result. I'm not sure what I will do with this, but I am happy with the bowl.

I also threw a small votive. I did add a ton of little holes to allow light through, but the glaze plugged the holes so I am a little disappointed in this. Even using a dremel tool, I couldn't drill through the glaze for fear of breaking the entire thing. I guess I will have to find a new function for this bowl as well. Sad a little bit, but I still like the bowl.

I made a wall art piece that has flowers and leaves. I was completely unaware of the color that I put in, but used it at the suggestion of my instructor. It is a little dark, and you don't get any of the detail that I put into the flowers or leaves, but I do think it turned out pretty. Definitely something I will hang up outside once I have a place to live besides borrowing the space here from my dad. Don't get me wrong, I completely appreciate him letting me stay with him while A is deployed, but I just cannot wait to have our own home and not feel like an over grown child living at home.

My abstract bank- it isn't exactly a work of modern art but I do like it. I love the color- Ginny's Rutile. I'm not sure what you would call the shape, but its my interpretation of abstract,  I guess being something that isn't exactly anything specific makes it abstract.

I am extremely happy with my angry frog bank, although he did lose a foot in the kiln. His foot must have had an air bubble so it split. Luckily it was a smooth break and fit back together perfectly so I just super glued it back together.


I also got my book stack finished. Even though the top book didn't hold the color as I planned it, I still like the coloring. There is only a little bit of red on the top and side of that book, I think it gives it a weathered look. Like it is such a good read that someone couldn't put it down and wore through the leather. I did carve book titles in each spine, but the bottom one was buried under the thicker glaze. I think because you can't see any part of it that it doesn't take away from the book, whereas if you could see the lines but not read it, it would look cheaply done. I did double check the coin slot on the top and it definitely fits quarters and there is a hole for a stopper on the bottom for easy removal of coins.

I also got my originally little piggy who sparked this whole banking habit. I was so worried that he would lose an ear after being glazed since he was cracked a little bit. Luckily the glaze did solidify the head to the ear. I was so happy, I was prepared for my one eared little piggy since cracks tend to spread in the kiln rather than seal by glaze.

Additional News

I was hoping to be able to post a picture of my embroidery Dr Suess baby quilt that I made, but due to a mistake on my part in allowing someone else to help in the edging, I have to redo that. The quilt was done, but I washed it and when it came out of the dryer 3/4 of the edging that someone else did had come out, fraying a lot of the backing material. I am in the process of trying to get it back to completion but you will have to be patient seeing as I have a few other things on my plate right now.

I start my new job on Monday, and I have quite a few codes and things to memorize. I also had a dental appointment today, and I am proud to announce that even after 25 years of horrible eating and drinking habits, I am still cavity and filling free.
I also received a steroid injection on Monday into my elbow. Apparently I have Tennis Elbow- despite never playing tennis or doing anything that resembles that type of movement. My pinky and ring finger on my left hand have been tingly/numb since my dad's 50th Birthday Party and this shot should help relieve the inflammation that is pressing on my ulnar nerve. If this doesn't help, I will receive a referral to an Orthopedist, and then possibly surgery.

Third Times a Charm or Three Strikes you're Out?

For my littlest niece I stove to build her a toadstool bank. Attempt number 1 was adorable. It had a butterfly and a caterpillar. However, the base was not even (it curled a little) so it was only sitting on 3 of the 5 feet and where the top of the mushroom met with the underside didn't seal properly. I attempted to fix these. The seam by wetting and adding more clay, the base by sanding it down. Looking back, I should have waited until the piece was bisque so it was stronger, but I am forever impatient and decided to sand it anyway- with my dad's belt sander. To be perfectly honest- It worked GREAT. except I put too much downward pressure at the front, under the caterpillar and rock and snapped that part off. But the other legs were golden! However because of that break, I couldn't get it to reconnect and the crack just spread.  So I smashed the whole thing and recycled the clay. 

Strike 1

Attempt number 2 came the same day that I trashed Strike 1. I used the same basic design, but instead of letting this one dry as quickly, which is why the seam never would seal properly, I would make sure it was given plenty of time to dry slowly.  Same basic design, but I made the base bigger and made sure that it was flat when I connected the pieces together. This did great for 3 days, until I came out on Sunday morning and saw a HUGE crack up the shaft of the toadstool, on both sides. I think maybe the weight of the mushroom top was too much and it just buckled under the pressure. I was so upset, I loved the little mushrooms at its base and the little snail! Luckily my class is Monday and Wednesday nights so I was able to ask my instructor for her opinion.

Strike 2

 Her opinion was that my clay was too weak and that I should add some paper to it to stiffen it up. Great idea, but because I really didn't feel like doing anything else Monday night, I decided to play with the potter's wheel, where I tried my hand at making a ball. Well, needless to say, my ball was no where near round, but it was enclosed. So I decided to make this my mushroom top. I made a base/bowl as well on the wheel, then Wednesday I worked to put them together. Since I am still very green when it comes to using the wheel, both pieces were way too thick, an inch thick rather than 1/4-1/2 inch thick, I spent a majority of my Wednesday night thinning them down. Tonight I finished what I hope will by my Third Times a Charm rather than my third strike on this bank style. I added circles to the top, which will be a different color than the rest of the head, a snail climbing it, a lady bug on the base, and a butterfly. Also, even though I have it blurred for privacy reasons, Frog's name is etched into it. There is a rubber stopper in the bottom to allow an easy release of money when needed, and the coin slot is on the other side of the bank.

Strike or Charm?

Keep your fingers crossed that this bank actually makes it to the kiln to be fired to bisque. If it fails, I guess I will have to think of another design for poor little Frog. Am I out? or Charmed?

Dear Fashion Designers

Dear Fashion Designers,
I am your average client. I am a woman in my middle twenties who has self image issues and wants clothing to flatter the parts I like and hide the parts I don't. I am not your 5'10" 100lbs girl who has no more hips than she does doctorates or your 5'4" 130 lbs girl with boobs bigger than her hips, that you apparently design all of your clothing for. I am pear shaped, I have a relatively standard waist and rather large hips and ass.

 


I do not dislike my hips or ass in the least bit, in fact, they are one of my favorite physical aspects. BUT, you and your design skills make me loathe them every time I try to buy clothing. From dresses, to skirts, to jeans, and especially shorts, my hips and butt eliminate me from wearing the cutest of items. I love your flowy little skirts that were inspired by the 70s, but why can you only create them in the micro, micro minis that are of a reasonable length in the front, but do not cover my panties in the back, or the ankle length skirts that because of my height only reach the bottom of my calf?

I love the look of pencil skirts, but unless I buy 2 sizes or more bigger than I really need and have someone basically remake it for me, I cannot wear them. You design for women without hips, without a butt, truly without curves. I HAVE CURVES (at least to my lower body). Even if I wear Spanx, I cannot reduce enough of that tush to wear that classic skirt. Do I even want to reduce the size of my derriere?  Quite honestly no. I love that part of my body that screams, "I am a woman, here are my curve! If you can't handle it, walk away!" Especially since due to my lack of a chest, I have always felt that I had a very boyish figure. I've even been called a "9 year old boy" while we were overseas in 2009, repeatedly. Did this bother me? No, for 2 reasons, the person who initially said it was joking and I knew he was joking, but mostly because in my uniforms (thankfully) there was so much bulk material that any shape was camouflaged. I didn't want them to notice me, I would rather be a little boy to them, but I'm not in the military anymore and damnit I want to be able to dress like a woman!

Yes, Ladies and Gentlemen, I enjoy my little butt, and I'm sure when the time comes for me to have my children, I will appreciate my wide hips even more than I already do. But right now, simply because of clothing designers, I am frustrated with my shape. I want to feel pretty in clothing and not have to buy everything in the largest size possible and have it remade. I tried on the cutest dress today at Kohls, which I cannot find on their website, but they had only a medium and extra large. I'm sure a large would've fit nearly perfectly since the medium fit my top half, and the extra large fit my hips.

Also, why are all shirts so low cut? I am not well endowed by anyone's standard when it comes to a chest but I do like shirts with an interesting neckline, rather than tee shirt style necks. But at the same time, I don't want to have to pull my shirt up every 5 minutes because my bra is showing- yesterday is a perfect example because that's what I did ALL DAY, and I had an undershirt on as well. I wear undershirts every day now, unless I'm wearing a tee shirt. I shouldn't have to, but I do because all of the shirts that are large enough for my arms- which are not fat by any means, and long enough to cover the tops of my pants, have such deep necks that you could see my entire bra, or are such a thin material that you can tell exactly what shapes and colors are on my bra (including and bow or design in the center of the chest piece).
Please, please, please! Clothing designers! Please make clothing that fits the average woman!! I do not think that my body type is so entirely different than a lot of other women. 33, 31, 41.5- besides maybe a larger chest, I think I'm pretty normal. Design things for my body type!!

For the Love of Ceramics

I am feeling very accomplished lately. I was able to bring home 3 completed ceramic pieces tonight- only 1 of which went directly in the trash. I like the other 2. 

My birdhouse, I love in its entirety. I love the color of the body. Even though the bees didn't come out exactly as I originally intended, I do believe that it turned out very good! I love that it looks weathered and rain stained. I am just very pleased with it.

Piece numbero two, I love the flowers, but the bowl and leaves did not turn out the way I wanted. None of the glaze on the body held so I broke off all the leaves and will grind down what is left. But I really do LOVE the color on the lilies, especially the center one. I think it turned out the best.

I also turned in my frog, books, and abstract banks to be fired to bisque. Yay. Hopefully I will be able to glaze those on Wednesday. I also hope to get to work on the toadstool bank on Wednesday. I have a few methods I will try. My instructor told me to add toilet paper to the clay and let that break down, this will strengthen the clay and help it bind together. I am also attempting to make the toadstool out of thrown clay (on the wheel). I have two pieces that I did tonight, I just hope that I can marry them Wednesday.

Additionally I have 2 chickens, a tree/clubhouse, a UT longhorn, and something brightly colored to do- all in the next 3 weeks since that is when all wet clay has to be turned in so it can be finished by the end of the semester. So what does this mean for me? I have to have something ready to turn in each class period, so I will be working on weekends. The something brightly colored I already have an idea, and am pretty sure I can knock that out this weekend. I have it all figured out in my head and I think it will fit the person very nicely. 

The longhorn and one of the chickens will start with the same basic body, then will be adapted to fit the respective animal. The house... I need my dad to draw me blueprints. Yes- I want legitimate blueprints since I do tend to approach this more from a mechanical aspect than a creative one. Lastly, will be the second chicken. Why is this one last and different than the other? This is for my sister in law, who has requested a large one, and because it is really going to be a prototype for a planter I will try and create this summer for her.

I am not worried if this does not get finished in the 3 weeks I have for this semester since I have no idea when I will be able to get to Ohio to give it to her. Sadly with A gone, it is too long of a drive for me to do alone, and with me starting my job on Monday, I don't know how long I have to be there before I get any vacation time. I am hoping that I can get at least some time off when A is home on his midtour leave, but we already discussed what we will do if I am unable to take time off. I will only work 8 hours a day, and I do get a weekend, plus since I am staying with my dad, we would be getting a hotel room anyways- 2 people do not fit in a twin bed, so we would just pick a place close to the airport so that there won't be much of a commute to and from work.

I must go to bed now though, I have a doctor's appointment tomorrow to get a needle in my elbow. I'll explain that later.

Goodnight

I make Bank

So I have come to the point in my ceramics class that I am now working on making piggy banks for my friends and family- since I have already accomplished all of the required assignments we were given at the beginning of the semester.
I have already made 4 banks, which included the original Pig Bank that started this joyful project. My first little bank is a true to form piggy, about the size of a grapefruit. I love, love, love it. Cute little pointy ears and a curly tail.

Bank number 2 (attempt 1 and 2) is for my niece Z, she is a very spirited little girl who, like her mother, has an affinity for nature. I made her a toadstool bank. The first attempt dried to fast so one of the seams held a crack. No matter what I did,  I couldn't get those to heal. So I made a second one, this time I got it to dry slower and so hopefully I wont have that problem again. I am going to add a butterfly today, and I already have a cute little snail at the base. To make it more whimsical, the glazing is going to play the major role. Bright, playful colors to highlight nature. ***Edit: A third attempt will be made on this bank. I woke up this morning to find the entire base cracked- from the floor to the mushroom top. Hopefully third time's a charm***
Bank 3 was for my other niece M. 6th grade going on college graduate. M is a very outgoing, youthful girl with a very quirky attitude. She is also a bookworm, so for her, a stack of books. Each book's title is all about her, nicknames, personality, etc...
Finally Bank 4 is for a my friend N, I've known her for like 7 years. I actually dated her brother in high school, although I think the best thing I got out of that relationship was meeting N and becoming friends. She is a very artsy person; painting, jewelry, ceramics, you name it she can do it. Her choice of style for her bank was something modern or abstract. I love art, but I am not really sure about styles or names of styles of art, so I had to do a google image of both and neither really seemed to give me shapes that would work as a bank, so I made up something. I sent N a picture and she said it looked like a balloon, I thought it looked like a geometry light bulb. I guess we'll see when I glaze it if it really fits the abstract motif that I attempted.

So I am less than halfway through my list of requested banks. I have 2 chickens, 1 frog, 1 club/tree house, 1 brightly colored of my choice, and then 1 Celtic inspired one. I think perhaps today I will work on either the chicken or the frog. My two chickens are going to be completely different sizes. One the size of a gallon of ice cream, the other the size of a grapefruit.
Its been a very crafty semester- I am loving it. Maybe A should deploy more often so  I can spend all my time making things...

Riddle Me This President Batman

Our country is in debt. A TON of debt. So how is it that people who owe the government a TON of money are able to get away with only paying a fraction of that money? Why do we seem to reward individuals and companies who over extend themselves to such an extent that it seems they owe more than most of us make in a 2-10 year period of time?
I see all of the commercials online about how if you owe >$10,000 in credit card debt, we can help you reduce that an only pay 10% of that amount. If you owe the IRS >$20,000 we'll help you settle that and pay only a fraction of that amount. "We owed the government $5million, but we only had to pay $1.2 million"
Anybody really wonder why we are going broke?  How is it fair that I pay the correct amount of taxes in my paychecks, my husband pays enough in his paychecks, we pay our credit card bills, and we deal with not getting to take vacations to make sure our financial responsibilities are taken care of, but if we owed the government $1000, we would owe $1000, no if, ands, or butts about it.
Why are deals made only when you owe a huge amount of money? Wouldn't it benefit the government greatly to call in those debts? And why is it that a person who owes $5million to the IRS in taxes, who makes obviously a great deal more than that, is able to reduce that bill to a relatively paltry amount compared to their annual income? If you owe the IRS $5million, and estimate that 1/3 of your income is owed in taxes, you make $15million a year. Reduce the payment to 1.2 million and you are only paying 8% in taxes. Now imagine the same situation for a family who only makes $40,000 a year. Given the current tax brackets, instead of paying the 33% of the rich, us "poor" middle class families owe 15% in taxes. This would be $6000 annually. Although to the rich who has to pay $1.2 million, that seems to be such a lowly, insignificant number, to us- that is 2 months pay. An amount that can sink us if any emergency happens. So even without using current tax brackets, those who are more capable of paying into the government, who have disposable income and view our annual income as a vacation payment, pay less into the government than we do. Nearly half of our income percentage. Does anyone see this as fair?
I owe 15% of my income, why are those who make millions more than me able to pay half of that? Oh, thats right, the law makers and officials who make it possible for these actions are those who make that type of money. Our lawmakers and government officials make more than double to national average for the "average" worker. The President makes $450,000 annually, with a $50,000 expense account (in addition to 7 other expense accounts for other things including $1million for miscellaneous expenses) and he will continue to receive a paycheck for the rest of his life as well as personal security for him and his family. And before you ask- this has nothing to do with the current President since this was established in 1982.
The typical congressman makes $174,000 annually, 8x the amount that a Sergeant in the military makes. People have argued that the President's job is so stressful and that he is in danger for the rest of his life from assassination that he deserves such a high pay. I have to disagree to the fullest extent. A fire fighter who runs into a burning building every day and makes $41,000 a year. He risks his life every day he goes to work, wears his body down physically, potentially damages his lungs from the smoke, eyes from the heat and light of the fire, and the mental abuse he endures when he can't get everyone out of the building. The average military man makes less than $50,000 a year despite years in service.
Police Officers who risk their lives every day, who patrols you neighborhood to ensure your safety, who drives and walks around 10 hours a day to provide our country with security make on average $50,000. In any rational capacity can anyone explain to me how a man who only has to do a job for 4 years, constantly surrounded by security, and realistically has advisers and council members who come up with every action he needs to decide upon, is in more danger and deserves 11x that of our bravest men and women in our country?

Random About Me Facts

Because I am bored, I decided to steal this from someone's blog.

1) What is your salad dressing of choice? Ranch
2) What is your favorite sit-down restaurant? Texas Road House
3) What food could you eat for 2 weeks straight and not get sick of? Mashed potatoes
4) What are your pizza toppings of choice? Italian Sausage and Pineapple
5) What do you like to put on your toast? Grape Jelly and Vegetable Oil (I call it butter but it isn't)
6) How many televisions are in your house? 3- but they are all my dad's
7) What color cell phone do you have? Grey/Black
8) Are you right-handed or left-handed? Left.
9) Have you ever had anything removed from your body? Yes, tonsils and wisdom teeth
10) The last heavy, item you lifted? Wookie. I like to pick her up and fake body slam her.
11) Have you ever been knocked unconscious? Not that I know of.
12) If it were possible, would you want to know the day you were going to die?Maybe the day, but not how.
13) If you could change your name, what would it be? I always wanted to go by my middle name when I was younger, but I'm comfortable with my name now.
14) Would you drink an entire bottle of hot sauce for $1000? Depends on the bottle.
15) How many pairs of flip flops do you own? 2- one brown, one black
16) What’s your goal for the year? Save at least $25,000 between mine and A's paychecks
17) Last person you talked to? Wookie- oh wait, person would be A on Skype
18). Last person you hugged. Wookie, prior to that, I don't remember my last hug.
19) Favorite Season? Fall
20) Favorite Holiday? Halloween
21) Favorite day of the week: Mondays and Wednesdays right now because of Ceramics
22) Favorite Month? October- wedding, birthday, and halloween
23). First place you went this morning? back door to let Wookie outside.
24) What's the last movie you saw? A Very Brady Sequel was on TV today, and there really wasnt anything else on. 
25) Do you smile often? Yes. 
26) Do you always answer your phone? If someone actually calls me
27) It's four in the morning you get a text message, who is it? Maybe my brother after work if I had sent him something earlier in the day, or a friend in a different time zone.
28) If you could change your eye color what would it be? Green!
29) What flavor drink do you get at Sonic? I really like the DP but I'm trying to not drink cokes so lately its just powerade
30) Have you ever had a pet fish? No
31) Favorite Christmas song? Oh Holy Night
32) What's on your wish list for your birthday? My husband to be home!
33) Can you do push ups? No
34) Can you do a chin up? Yes
35) Does the future make you more nervous or excited? Excited!!
36) Do you have any saved texts? No, but I had to look to know
37) Ever been in a car wreck? Yes
38) Do you have an accent? Apparently I do, even though I don't hear it
39) What is the last song to make you cry? No idea
40) Plans tonight? Hopefully finishing my quilt, working out, and watching the Buffy marathon on Chiller.
41) Have you ever felt like you hit rock bottom? Yes
42) Name 3 things you bought yesterday. Nothing, I didn't leave my house.
43) Have you ever been given roses? Never just roses, but I have gotten them in a bouquet with other flowers
44) Current hate right now? boredom and sore muscles
45) Met someone who changed your life? Yes!
46) How did you bring in the New Year? Went to my brother's house
47) What song represents you? I always thought it was Seven Years by Norah Jones or On My Own from Les Miserables
48) Name three people who might complete this? Probably just Holly or Tammie if anyone
49) What were you doing 12 AM last night? watching TV- but I cannot remember what I watched.
50) What was the first thing you thought of when you woke up? "Wookie! You're stealing my pillow!!"

Insanity Day 2

So I repeat my whine that I am in such horrible shape from yesterday. Today, Day 2 was a 44 minute workout called Plyometric Cardio Circuit. I did pretty good, didn't survive the entire thing, but I did make it through 24 minutes. Its progress. Especially when I was already sweating and gasping for air after only the warm up.

I do love the set up of these exercises. A timer to let you know how long until your next 30 second water break. A total time count down, and an instructor who actually speaks to the camera the way one would to an actual person.

The work out starts with jogging, then jumping jacks, high knees, butt kicks, the heisman, 1-2-3 (side stepping and doing the heisman), then mummy kicks. I must admit that the most difficult one for me to do is the 1-2-3. I am not coordinated enough for this movement. I nearly trip and fall everytime. It would actually be pretty funny to watch me attempt.
I'm getting better, this 60 day program may take me a little longer than 60 days to get the desired results, but at least I'm working on it. I'll keep y'all posted.

Insanity Day 1

So tonight I decided I have had enough with being lazy and out of shape. Plus A comes home for 2 weeks in July and I don't want him to run screaming in the other directions because I have gotten someone fluffy. Almost 2 years ago A bought the Insanity 60 day workout series, and prior to our wedding I worked out a tad to it. Completely out of order, I just picked the workout I wanted to do and was done with it.

Tonight I attempted to start the workout in the correct fashion, beginning with the Fit Test and following the recommended order of discs. Tonight I also failed at completing the Fit Test. Of the 8 exercises that you complete for 60 seconds each, I accomplished the first 4 before I thought I was going to die.

As of right now my Day 1 FitTest Results are as follows:

1. Switch Kick- 39

2. Power Jacks- 40

3. Power Knees- 47

4. Power Jumps- 22

5. Globe Jumps- 0
6. Suicide Jumps- 0

7. Pushup Jacks- 0

8. Low Plank Oblique- 0

I know that this is horrible, but I will continue with the workouts and go from here, in 2 weeks, even if the number of exercises 1-4 I complete stay the same, if I am able to make it through those without dying and do anything for 5-8 I know I will have improved.

My family will tell you that I am in great shape, that I have no reason to worry about my weight or tone, but that is just ridiculous. Everyone can stand to be in better shape, and I do not want to get to the point where everyone notices 100 yards away that I can stand to lose a few before taking steps to change it. I will actually post a picture of my Day 1 Self and hopefully in 60 days we will all see an improvement. I am hoping that by making all of y'all witnesses to this process it will force me to work at it. I am not the best person at sticking with something if I am not being held accountable. So if you see me slacking (not posting at least an affirmation daily about my pain) then please feel free to get on my case.

And by the way, in the picture facing the camera, no- those are not the outline of nicely sculpted abs, they are creases. But they are deceptive if you are far away..

A True Apocalypse

I do believe though that we as humans will eventually lead to our own apocalyptic fate. As seemingly impossible and unrealistic as they may be, movies like 28 Days (Weeks) Later and even the Resident Evil movies are truly the most probable depictions of what could come. Not because I think the dead will suddenly walk and decide to eat our brains, but simply because they are the results of human interference with gene development. I'm not misinformed about the wonderful advances to our existence that comes from the manipulation of genes, but I am also aware of the risks involved. Changing just one tiny aspect of a gene can turn a good protein into a poison, so whats to say that one misstep wouldn't turn normal, healthy people into primal, apathetic sociopaths? I guess I really just don't have very much faith in the "good intentions" of our society, and not just the United States but the world society.

Does anyone truly doubt that as we, as the human race, are moving closer to the end of our world? I'm not suggesting an end of the world as we see in movies like The Day After Tomorrow, 2012, Dawn (Day) of the Dead, or even Zombieland. I do not believe that a random asteroid will plummet to earth creating massive disturbances or that we will experience freak weather patterns that will drop our temperatures until we are frozen mid breath.

 Is anyone really naive enough to believe that anyone else, any "higher" government official is actually looking out for your well being? The government, including every elected official, is simply an employee of a very large, unrestricted business that is in the business of making money and keeping power. I do believe that it was established with initial philanthropic motives, but even then with all the restrictions to it, it was still an elitest establishment. To get into government, one must have money. People with money are not like the majority of us who live paycheck to paycheck, praying that we don't lose our jobs and in turn our homes and cars and ability to feed our families.

 Its funny that preparing for the seemingly unrealistic "zombie" apocalypse is easier than preparing for a life in the real world. I know how to take care of my family in such a "society." I know that should something happen, my husband and I would be able to survive and take care of our own- no matter where we are at the time. I know that I could protect the ones I love and that the "enemy" would be far easier to recognize and fight instead of the confusing and undefeatable corporate policy that truly dictates all aspects of our lives.

I have primary, secondary, and even tertiary plans for what needs to be done in case of some type of massive fall out or government collapse. I just wonder what will happen to the very government dependent people who have no idea how to take care of anything themselves. Without television, computers, repairmen, telephones, and always having someone to cook and deliver food to them. What happens to those people who have never learned how to survive without the joys of electricity, running water, and all the modern conveniences that have crippled us as a people. Honestly, it doesn't bother me to think of this. It doesn't scare me to remember that such an event will determine who is left, who can survive and who carry on.

The Downfall of Our Society

A Teacher Worth Keeping
There have been many issues in the news lately regarding our nation's educational system. I have always looked at teaching as an ideal career for myself, but with the regulations and new policies being implemented in the last decade, I am not so sure anymore. I know that people always been saying "well when I was younger" since the beginning of time, but I know that things have changed dramatically since I was a child.

My parents never negotiated with us when we were children, they never begged or pleaded with us to do what they told us. Punishments were actually punishments instead of a 30 second concern. While growing up, I do know that I hated our disciplines, but that is how it should be. We did receive spankings, had our mouths washed out with soap- both bar and liquid, bed without dinner, bed super early, time outs, etc... Today, so many people do not discipline their children- they have televisions in their bedrooms, multiple gaming systems, outrageous amounts of toys which maybe receive an hour of use before they want something else. This was not how I was raised.  It was such an amazing day when we would get to pick out A new toy. Usually for me, it was Barbie, or Barbie clothing. At Christmas we did receive a few toys, but primarily we received practical gifts, like clothing, coats, shoes, etc...  I know some women, and no offense to single moms by any means, who feel the need to buy their children (under the age of 3) $500 worth of TOYS for Christmas when they complain constantly that they are so broke. It seems to me that that much money for a 1-2 year old child is such a waste. They grow so quickly that they do not keep those toys for more than 3 months before they are already looking for something new.

Since most of my readers do have children, please tell me if this is not a ridiculous decision for people to make? I am not saying that it is all single mothers, but this is actually a specific example of one person that I know who literally spent that amount of money this year, as well as last year and the little boy doesn't turn 3 until June. I do know about wanting so spoil your children, A and I spoil our "surrogate baby" G and he is only 1 1/2 years old. He is the son of our best friends and we have enjoyed being able to spoil him, BUT we are not spending $500 for holidays/birthdays and neither are his parents.

Anyways, back to the educational system, although inter-familiar relationships does play a major part in how our schools are shaped. Children who have no responsibilities at home translate that behavior into their school life. The fact that students can no longer fail or receive a zero in school is only setting our children up for the idea that life has no set rules to follow. They do not have to do the work when it is required, but are constantly being given every opportunity to try again. I am not saying  that people and children should be given one chance to do something and do it perfectly, but there has to be an accountability system established. Children are lazy when it comes to school work, this is nothing new. The issue comes from parents not forcing their children to do their work, not checking the work, or simply helping to the point of doing the work for the child.

My father was the worst (through the eyes of a child) person to ask for help on homework. I wanted him to simply tell me the answer and then move on. This was not how it worked in our house. If I asked him what 2x3 was, he would ask me what that meant, how would you solve it, how else can you write this, etc... I would have to teach him what I learned in school before he would "help" me. I realized later on that by making me "teach" him, I was reinforcing what I knew and could more easily solve the problem.

I took a break from writing this the other day, and last night on the way out to the lake with my father we discussed these issues that I've been having with the education system and parenting styles that we witness. He did make me realize something very important about parenting styles- they do not always effect children equally. My mother was the youngest of 4 children, one of which I never had the opportunity to know since he passed away 2 weeks before I turned 1. Although I never got to know my uncle, I've always heard that he and my mother were very similar in their personalities; very family-sentric. My mother was the most selfless person I know, everything she did was for the betterment of her family, friends, and especially through her work- complete strangers. Although they were all raised under the same roof, with the same expectations and disciplines, the differences between the four of those people could not be wider. Entitlement versus diligence, long term planning versus immediate gratification, strong family ties versus "fair weather friends" mentality. Its amazing that the similarities end so close to the top of the list of personal characteristics.

My parents worked for everything they received, even if others looked at them as being given handouts. Mowing my grandparents' lawn and doing work around their house to "pay" for all of their help. Its funny how much some of my mom's siblings thought that we were just given so much from my grandparents. I remember helping them out with gardening, cleaning, cooking, laundry, lawn work, etc... Thats what we did. It was never a chore to do it, thats how we were raised, to help other people out.  I may have never cleaned my room voluntarily (or even very well involuntarily) but I was always willing to help my friends out cleaning their rooms- I'm still this way.

As if the universe KNEW I was writing this blog tonight... I received an email on facebook tonight epitomizing said differences among siblings. Beyond the passive aggressiveness of the email I really cannot figure out the point. And can someone please explain "yeowww!" to me. This was the subject and I don't know if it is a "meow" or what.

Women in Combat

Disclaimer: The following posts may be offensive and I apologize if you feel that these statements are sexist or prejudice in anyway.



So I had a very interesting conversation with my brother and future sister in law last night at dinner. And before anyone even begins to think anything negative about him or say that he is being sexist; every point he made was actually from a very rational position rather than an emotional one.

I do not remember exactly where the conversation came from, but we ended up discussing wom in the military, moving into possible combat roles, and relating to that, other occupations that women really do not fit in well. My brother is a police officer in the area and even though many people have only seen one side to him, I have had the opportunity over the last year to really get to know him better.

Can you carry this man out of the line of fire?

Anyways, our discussion involved the double standard that many (like 99% of) jobs have for not only women but all minorities in one form or another, whether gender, race, sexual orientation, age, etc. This is an argument I have been making for years. I hate the fact that women are not held to the same standards as men in the military. "Equal rights" does not simply mean equal privileges but quite literally means there should be equal treatment, responsiblity, punishment, and rewards. This is not the case in our society. So many people want equal privileges without the responsibility.

What aspect of combat distinguishes between whether you have internal or external genitalia? I know that bombs does not blow up any slower simply because the people around it are women. So why are women given an additional three minutes to run three miles? Even given the exact nature of our physical fitness test, women are systematically being told that they are inferior to the men they work with. Men have to do pull ups, an exercise that is designed to simulate the ability to pull your own body weight up and out of a bad situation, like up off a ledge. Women are required to do the flexed arm hang. An "exercise" that has women simply hold their body weight long enough for help to arrive, but not to pull up their own body weight. Does this not blatantly state that women are not expected to take care of themselves?

Yes, I know that there are a few, and I do emphasize few women who can keep up with mid level men physically, BUT they are few and far between. In addition to the combat application of our physical fitness tests is the immediate distortion of promotion points. Our PFT has a possibility of 300 points towards ones promotion for non NCOs; Privates, Private First Class, and Lance Corporals. Crunches are the only aspect that are fair, 100 points for 100 crunches in 2 minutes regardless of gender. The part that I believe is the most unfair and biggest difference between genders is the pull ups versus flexed arm hang. For a man to pass, he must accopmlish a minimum of 3 dead hang pull ups, and 5 points per pull up- maxed out at 20. This is not the easiest task for the majority of men to accomplish. Women on the other hand, are only required to do a flexed arm hang for 15 seconds on the pull up bar. The best part about this (please note the bitter sarcasm) is that it is not even required for the woman to keep her chin above the bar, but that only "some degree of flexion at the elbow is maintained." Therefore as long as there is the slightest bend to your elbow you are still accumulating time. To get the maximum points for this evolution, a woman only needs to say up on the bar for 70 seconds. I can not comprehend how a person who has passed a military boot camp is unable to support their own body weight for a mere 15 seconds.

Look, so easy a child can do it.

I asked a friend of mine to contribute his take on the issue as a sergeant in the infantry. I feel extremely confident that I can generalize his responses to the majority of the male population of the military, especially those in combat units.

When asked how he feels about the "equality" between genders in the military he replied with that there is no equal treatment, none at all. Females meet lower standards across the board and generally receive special treatment in nearly all aspects of military life, from housing, to performance expectations, to interpersonal relationships.  I find that I am in complete agreement. I already explained one aspect of performance expectations, but as far as interpersonal relationships women tend to get away with more than men. It is easier for women to get away with talking to a superior in a more casual manner. I can personally attest to this, I know that I got away with having a big mouth more than most people I worked with. I talked back to people and yet never received official repremands while I know a lot of Marines who didn't say anything too different than I did get written counceling statements.

I asked his opinion on whether women should be permitted to attempt the training for actual combat MOS-s. He full heartedly agreed that the training is important. That we should be allowed to fullfill the same training requirements as the men, but not sent to combat units. Besides our 22 days of "combat training" after bootcamp, we never really do any training aside from going to the rifle range annually. But what happens when a support truck in Afghanistan is attacked and the women there are expected to defend it, themselves, and make it back to base? They end up like Jessica Lynch, a woman who never fired her weapon when her truck crashed, dropped to her knees and prayed instead of fighting, got captured and after putting the lives of additional soldiers and Marines in danger to rescue her, was awarded a Bronze Star.

This friend also described how on multiple occassions while deployed he had females that were unable to complete patrols and physically had to be carried back by other Marines. An occurrance that didn't occur with any males, even non infantry ones. Reactions are also a major aspect on where we differ. Through his experience with combat, he witnessed that most (but not all) women do not attempt to close with the enemy (get closer to and engage) and also tend to break down under the stress to the degree that it couldnt be shaken off. This is a major liability to other Marines and Soldiers because someone has to take care of them.

When asked what the most physically demanding aspect of being a grunt was, he replied with the combat patrols wearing over 130 pounds of equipment in 140 degree heat for 4-12 hours. I'm sorry, but I was in relatively good shape but I know there is no way in hell that I would be able to carry nearly my own body weight for 4 hours, let alone 12 and definitely not in 140 degree heat.

I have had a lot of time to think lately, and for some reason gun control has occupied quite a bit of that space. Arlington school district is looking into whether teachers should be allowed to carry on campus. Conservatives and student republicans are pushing for the legislation to allow consealed handgun license toting students to be allowed to carry on college campuses.

I am taking a ceramics class that releases at 9pm Mondays and Wednesdays at one of the Tarrant County College campuses and when I left after my first class I was painfully aware of the lack of proper lighting, the abundance of areas for a person to hide or be hidden in, and the small amount of people actually on campus at such a late hour. I immediately formed multiple scenarios of what an unfriendly perseon could accomplish should they choose to do so, and my first defensive thought was how I wished I could have my pistol with me.
I know I'm not exactly the ideal mugging victim, I'm tall, usually wearing a large coat making me appear larger/possibly stronger than I really am, and I actively pay attention to my surroundings rather than looking down/at my phone. Additionally I do not carry anything of real value with me to class I lock my valuables up and only have my wedding ring, phone, and car keys.
I do consider many scenarios for randomly, slightly improbable events that have no logical standard unless perhaps Mars, Venus, Pluto, and Staturn aline under the Second Star to the Right and Peter Pan was lost in Vegas, but I like having a plan. It makes it easier to deal with alternative, more realistic events.
I have decided that since when I blog at night when I cannot sleep I tend to jump all over the place, so I will just start writing my thoughts during the day as they occur then add them later when I can organize them better.

Nesting and Domestication

Even though throughout my life I have never really exemplified the art of being feminine I have loved the domestic arts, minus cleaning. All of the traditional gender roles; baking, cooking, sewing, decorating, etc... have always held a special place in my heart.  Since moving home to stay with my dad while my husband is deployed I have fallen back into that domestic spirit.

Since the New Year has began, I have working on a quilt for my sister. She bought the fabric months ago but with our wedding, A's deployment, finals, moving home, then Christmas I didn't have time to start it. I worked on it for basically a week straight to start and finish the topper for the quilt.  As an addition for my amazing gift from my Dad of Adobe Photoshop 9, he made me a quilters rack. I have not started quilting yet because I had to find the right backing for the quilt. I finally decided to use a solid fabric instead of having a seam down the back, so I bought a cheap, king sized flat sheet and will use that. This is a picture of a section of her quilt; uneven rows, haphazardly designed, but made with love. This is the third quilt that I have made based on this pattern, the square and borders and I have finally realized that I do not like it. I am not good at cutting evenly or I pull too much and stretch the rows. So I will now find a new pattern to use in future blankets.

I have also started working on a baby quilt. I'm not sure if this will be a quilt that I keep or gift, after all most of my friends are either pregnant or have children already. I am so jealous, I cannot wait for A and I to start our family. And don't worry, I've heard it all before. "Wait, you don't have to rush into anything." "Be married for a while before you have kids." "There is no hurry, babies change your life." I know that technically we have only been married since October, but we've been together for almost 3 years, we fell into our roles early in our relationship. We have our routines established, our standard fights and solutions, our expectations and wants. Children are the next ingredient to our family. I have always been on the emotional fast track to wanting a family, but together we are finally at that point where it is rational as well as emotional.

My baby quilt that I'm making is Dr Seuss inspired. Notable, and some less notable creatures: Cindy Lou Who from How the Grinch Stole Christmas, the beautiful Truffula Trees from The Lorax Saves the Trees, Thing One and Thing Two as well as the hat from The Cat in the Hat, Horton from Horton Hears a Who, and fish from One Fish Two Fish.  Depending how long this takes me to embroidery this quilt, I may add a few more creatures. Although this is technically a gender neutral quilt, I do think that it will suite a little girl better than a boy because of the colors.

With Cindy Lou Who, I had decided that I wasn't going to fill her in anymore than just her stunning eyes, but looking at her now, I think I may color in either her dress or ornament. And with the trees, the trunks are complete. If you read the story, they are not soldidly colored, although I did reverse the detail. They are solild yellow with scratchy black, but I think that would be too dark for a baby quilt. But I may color in one of the tree tops, probably the center one.

I am in the process of filling in Thing One's hair and let me tell you, this is a very slow process. I have used a few yards of thread so far and as you can see, I am barely making a dent in his beautiful blue hair. I think that with Thing Two I will fill in his body rather than his hair, just for a little bit of demension.

In addition to the sewing that I have been doing, I am now taking a ceramics class and a painting class at Tarrant County College. I am so excited for these classes to really begin. I cannot wait to find out what we will be required to create.