As anyone who has ever spent more than an hour with me can attest to, I like to be prepared. Since we have come close to the halfway point of my husband's deployment and so very close to his leave, I have started getting checked for any medical issues that may arise to delay or inhibit getting pregnant. On one hand, I really wish I hadn't done this. Primarily for the reason that I am alone in dealing with it, even though I do have the support and comfort of my Aunt K, my sisters in law K and T, and a couple of the ladies at work. It is not the same as being able to have my husband there are the doctor's office holding my hand, or holding me when I cry because things are not as they should be.
I have done the hormonal tests, and everything seems ok, even if they are not the numbers they would expect to see from a 25 year old. I've said it for years and no one ever believes me, but my body has aged faster than the calender. Nearly 2 weeks ago I went to the doctor and they did a procedure that injects a dye into the uterus and fallopian tubes to check for blockages or tears. I see the images on the screen and I only really see 1 full tube, the other simply looks like a ball barely beyond the uterus.
Today I had my consultation with the doctor (which I have been freaking out about for the last 2 weeks) and she recommended surgery. For the life of me I can not remember the name, but basically they will put a camera in through my navel then make 2 punctures at my public line (one on each side) and try to figure out whether there is scar tissue or what ever is blocking the tube and fix it.
To be honest- I'm scared. I've never had a surgery that required anything more than opening my mouth. I've had my tonsils removed and I recovered quickly, and I've had my wisdom teeth removed but I was awake for that. I know this is an outpatient procedure, and that the recovery time is usually 48-72 hours but I am still very, very nervous. All of the "what ifs" keep plaguing my mind. What if I cannot have children? What if something goes wrong? What if after the surgery there is something else that goes wrong?
**5 days after starting this post***
My surgery is scheduled for Tuesday the 10th. I was hoping to get it done on Monday so I can do nothing all day Tuesday, but that didn't happen. Lucky for me I sit at a desk all day for work and answering phone calls/making reservations does not require much moving. I'm very nervous about this still, but a coworker/new favorite friend and my Aunt K both said they would be there with me if I need/want.
Some type of laparoscopic surgery, if I didn't have finals and some award ceremony at the state house that week, I'd come down for a visit. Hopefully nothing to worry about with this procedure, might be a bit gassy afterwards though.
ReplyDeletethanks Mark. I know rationally there is nothing to worry about, but we know thats not how I am.
ReplyDeleteIf only I were closer...I would hold your hand. make you some tea. Try to make you laugh and give you at least a piece of Adam nearby. :)I mean, we do have the same mouth so I can at least try to imitate his smile. lol. You have so many around that love & adore you, you will be in good hands. Try to stay positive. It's a step forward, not back.
ReplyDelete