As anyone who has ever spent more than an hour with me can attest to, I like to be prepared. Since we have come close to the halfway point of my husband's deployment and so very close to his leave, I have started getting checked for any medical issues that may arise to delay or inhibit getting pregnant. On one hand, I really wish I hadn't done this. Primarily for the reason that I am alone in dealing with it, even though I do have the support and comfort of my Aunt K, my sisters in law K and T, and a couple of the ladies at work. It is not the same as being able to have my husband there are the doctor's office holding my hand, or holding me when I cry because things are not as they should be.
I have done the hormonal tests, and everything seems ok, even if they are not the numbers they would expect to see from a 25 year old. I've said it for years and no one ever believes me, but my body has aged faster than the calender. Nearly 2 weeks ago I went to the doctor and they did a procedure that injects a dye into the uterus and fallopian tubes to check for blockages or tears. I see the images on the screen and I only really see 1 full tube, the other simply looks like a ball barely beyond the uterus.
Today I had my consultation with the doctor (which I have been freaking out about for the last 2 weeks) and she recommended surgery. For the life of me I can not remember the name, but basically they will put a camera in through my navel then make 2 punctures at my public line (one on each side) and try to figure out whether there is scar tissue or what ever is blocking the tube and fix it.
To be honest- I'm scared. I've never had a surgery that required anything more than opening my mouth. I've had my tonsils removed and I recovered quickly, and I've had my wisdom teeth removed but I was awake for that. I know this is an outpatient procedure, and that the recovery time is usually 48-72 hours but I am still very, very nervous. All of the "what ifs" keep plaguing my mind. What if I cannot have children? What if something goes wrong? What if after the surgery there is something else that goes wrong?
**5 days after starting this post***
My surgery is scheduled for Tuesday the 10th. I was hoping to get it done on Monday so I can do nothing all day Tuesday, but that didn't happen. Lucky for me I sit at a desk all day for work and answering phone calls/making reservations does not require much moving. I'm very nervous about this still, but a coworker/new favorite friend and my Aunt K both said they would be there with me if I need/want.
Tuesday, April 26, 2011
Sunday, April 10, 2011
Hypocracy of our society
Sparked by a conversation we had Friday night after work, and due to the fact that I dwell on thoughts until I get them out, I must vent that I find out society to be extremely hypocritical.
Women have all of the power when it comes to children, child support, adoption, abortion, etc... Men have no legal right to tell a woman to keep a child, to abort it, not to put it up for adoption, anything really. If a man and a woman get pregnant, and the woman tells him she wants nothing from him- no contact, no child support, no nothing- she still has every legal right to change her mind at any point and require him to pay her money later on down the road.
If she decides to put the child up for adoption, she doesn't need the signature of the father (unless they are married) since she has every legal right to not put a name on the child's birth certificate. But should the father not want to be legally connected to said child, he has no option unless the woman agrees to have his rights severed in court and has another man willing to accept legal responsibility. But there are women that want the man to have nothing to do with the child except to send HER money every month. Not money for the child, but for her.
Our legal system is extremely screwed up when it comes to the rights of biological donors (male and female), I wont call them parents because that is a personality rather than a form of genetic connections. I'm not saying that people shouldn't take responsibility for their prior actions, but the court systems, child support offices, and such should also be reorganized to ensure that non custodial parents are not being raped by the custodial parents.
Put the money for child support in a separate trust for the child, in the name of the child. I'm definitely not saying that all single parents abuse the power that they have and are simply wanting to have more money in their pocket to do other things for entertainment, but there are enough of them that I think this does need to be implemented. You cannot tell me that you are a single parent struggling to take care of your child when you travel around the country going to cities every month that are at least 300 miles away from where you live, and spending $500 on Christmas presents for a 2 year old. I'm sorry but if you are struggling to get by, then you can't afford to do all of that. Especially when everyone knows exactly how much money you make and your housing and utilities are free plus you get paid for food.
Its ridiculous when a woman tells the biological father of her child that she wants nothing from him, then finds out he is no longer single then demands child support (over a year after the last time they saw each other in fact). It is even more ridiculous when the legal system set in place to protect the rights of the child allow its practices to exploit the rights of the non custodial parent.
Women have all of the power when it comes to children, child support, adoption, abortion, etc... Men have no legal right to tell a woman to keep a child, to abort it, not to put it up for adoption, anything really. If a man and a woman get pregnant, and the woman tells him she wants nothing from him- no contact, no child support, no nothing- she still has every legal right to change her mind at any point and require him to pay her money later on down the road.
If she decides to put the child up for adoption, she doesn't need the signature of the father (unless they are married) since she has every legal right to not put a name on the child's birth certificate. But should the father not want to be legally connected to said child, he has no option unless the woman agrees to have his rights severed in court and has another man willing to accept legal responsibility. But there are women that want the man to have nothing to do with the child except to send HER money every month. Not money for the child, but for her.
Our legal system is extremely screwed up when it comes to the rights of biological donors (male and female), I wont call them parents because that is a personality rather than a form of genetic connections. I'm not saying that people shouldn't take responsibility for their prior actions, but the court systems, child support offices, and such should also be reorganized to ensure that non custodial parents are not being raped by the custodial parents.
Put the money for child support in a separate trust for the child, in the name of the child. I'm definitely not saying that all single parents abuse the power that they have and are simply wanting to have more money in their pocket to do other things for entertainment, but there are enough of them that I think this does need to be implemented. You cannot tell me that you are a single parent struggling to take care of your child when you travel around the country going to cities every month that are at least 300 miles away from where you live, and spending $500 on Christmas presents for a 2 year old. I'm sorry but if you are struggling to get by, then you can't afford to do all of that. Especially when everyone knows exactly how much money you make and your housing and utilities are free plus you get paid for food.
Its ridiculous when a woman tells the biological father of her child that she wants nothing from him, then finds out he is no longer single then demands child support (over a year after the last time they saw each other in fact). It is even more ridiculous when the legal system set in place to protect the rights of the child allow its practices to exploit the rights of the non custodial parent.
Friday, April 1, 2011
Great Week
Today is the first Friday at my new job with Delta. It has been a long week, but I have to admit that I really did enjoy it. I have gotten up between 04-0430 every morning, and have either gotten home after 9pm or around 3-430pm depending on the day. Needless to say after going from work to school on Monday and Wednesday, I was exhausted the next days at work.
Today was even better because I got to pick up some of my ceramics projects. Some didn't turn out so great, like my trivet/coasters. But its ok, because who really looks at a trivet? You don't even see them underneath the pan.
I made my dad a popcorn box. While not really practical for actual popcorn use, it is the right side for pens or straws or something else like that. The color didn't really work out as I planned, but I do like the result. I dunked the container in the glaze and it should've dried in a few minutes, but it was still soaking wet an hour later so I sponged off a lot of the wet glaze. This did result in a worn and weathered look rather than a nice, shiny color like you see inside the "g" in Big Al's name.
I also have a cute little bowl on the potter's wheel. I am very proud of this bowl, I didn't think I would be able to make a relatively even, balanced bowl so quickly on the wheel. I love the blue, it is so deep and vibrant. I don't remember what color I used on the bottom but it looks as though there was no color what so ever. Again, it may not have been intended, but I do like the result. I'm not sure what I will do with this, but I am happy with the bowl.
I also threw a small votive. I did add a ton of little holes to allow light through, but the glaze plugged the holes so I am a little disappointed in this. Even using a dremel tool, I couldn't drill through the glaze for fear of breaking the entire thing. I guess I will have to find a new function for this bowl as well. Sad a little bit, but I still like the bowl.
I made a wall art piece that has flowers and leaves. I was completely unaware of the color that I put in, but used it at the suggestion of my instructor. It is a little dark, and you don't get any of the detail that I put into the flowers or leaves, but I do think it turned out pretty. Definitely something I will hang up outside once I have a place to live besides borrowing the space here from my dad. Don't get me wrong, I completely appreciate him letting me stay with him while A is deployed, but I just cannot wait to have our own home and not feel like an over grown child living at home.
My abstract bank- it isn't exactly a work of modern art but I do like it. I love the color- Ginny's Rutile. I'm not sure what you would call the shape, but its my interpretation of abstract, I guess being something that isn't exactly anything specific makes it abstract.
I am extremely happy with my angry frog bank, although he did lose a foot in the kiln. His foot must have had an air bubble so it split. Luckily it was a smooth break and fit back together perfectly so I just super glued it back together.
I also got my book stack finished. Even though the top book didn't hold the color as I planned it, I still like the coloring. There is only a little bit of red on the top and side of that book, I think it gives it a weathered look. Like it is such a good read that someone couldn't put it down and wore through the leather. I did carve book titles in each spine, but the bottom one was buried under the thicker glaze. I think because you can't see any part of it that it doesn't take away from the book, whereas if you could see the lines but not read it, it would look cheaply done. I did double check the coin slot on the top and it definitely fits quarters and there is a hole for a stopper on the bottom for easy removal of coins.
I also got my originally little piggy who sparked this whole banking habit. I was so worried that he would lose an ear after being glazed since he was cracked a little bit. Luckily the glaze did solidify the head to the ear. I was so happy, I was prepared for my one eared little piggy since cracks tend to spread in the kiln rather than seal by glaze.
I also have a cute little bowl on the potter's wheel. I am very proud of this bowl, I didn't think I would be able to make a relatively even, balanced bowl so quickly on the wheel. I love the blue, it is so deep and vibrant. I don't remember what color I used on the bottom but it looks as though there was no color what so ever. Again, it may not have been intended, but I do like the result. I'm not sure what I will do with this, but I am happy with the bowl.
I made a wall art piece that has flowers and leaves. I was completely unaware of the color that I put in, but used it at the suggestion of my instructor. It is a little dark, and you don't get any of the detail that I put into the flowers or leaves, but I do think it turned out pretty. Definitely something I will hang up outside once I have a place to live besides borrowing the space here from my dad. Don't get me wrong, I completely appreciate him letting me stay with him while A is deployed, but I just cannot wait to have our own home and not feel like an over grown child living at home.
My abstract bank- it isn't exactly a work of modern art but I do like it. I love the color- Ginny's Rutile. I'm not sure what you would call the shape, but its my interpretation of abstract, I guess being something that isn't exactly anything specific makes it abstract.
I am extremely happy with my angry frog bank, although he did lose a foot in the kiln. His foot must have had an air bubble so it split. Luckily it was a smooth break and fit back together perfectly so I just super glued it back together.I also got my book stack finished. Even though the top book didn't hold the color as I planned it, I still like the coloring. There is only a little bit of red on the top and side of that book, I think it gives it a weathered look. Like it is such a good read that someone couldn't put it down and wore through the leather. I did carve book titles in each spine, but the bottom one was buried under the thicker glaze. I think because you can't see any part of it that it doesn't take away from the book, whereas if you could see the lines but not read it, it would look cheaply done. I did double check the coin slot on the top and it definitely fits quarters and there is a hole for a stopper on the bottom for easy removal of coins.
I also got my originally little piggy who sparked this whole banking habit. I was so worried that he would lose an ear after being glazed since he was cracked a little bit. Luckily the glaze did solidify the head to the ear. I was so happy, I was prepared for my one eared little piggy since cracks tend to spread in the kiln rather than seal by glaze.
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