Sparked by a conversation we had Friday night after work, and due to the fact that I dwell on thoughts until I get them out, I must vent that I find out society to be extremely hypocritical.
Women have all of the power when it comes to children, child support, adoption, abortion, etc... Men have no legal right to tell a woman to keep a child, to abort it, not to put it up for adoption, anything really. If a man and a woman get pregnant, and the woman tells him she wants nothing from him- no contact, no child support, no nothing- she still has every legal right to change her mind at any point and require him to pay her money later on down the road.
If she decides to put the child up for adoption, she doesn't need the signature of the father (unless they are married) since she has every legal right to not put a name on the child's birth certificate. But should the father not want to be legally connected to said child, he has no option unless the woman agrees to have his rights severed in court and has another man willing to accept legal responsibility. But there are women that want the man to have nothing to do with the child except to send HER money every month. Not money for the child, but for her.
Our legal system is extremely screwed up when it comes to the rights of biological donors (male and female), I wont call them parents because that is a personality rather than a form of genetic connections. I'm not saying that people shouldn't take responsibility for their prior actions, but the court systems, child support offices, and such should also be reorganized to ensure that non custodial parents are not being raped by the custodial parents.
Put the money for child support in a separate trust for the child, in the name of the child. I'm definitely not saying that all single parents abuse the power that they have and are simply wanting to have more money in their pocket to do other things for entertainment, but there are enough of them that I think this does need to be implemented. You cannot tell me that you are a single parent struggling to take care of your child when you travel around the country going to cities every month that are at least 300 miles away from where you live, and spending $500 on Christmas presents for a 2 year old. I'm sorry but if you are struggling to get by, then you can't afford to do all of that. Especially when everyone knows exactly how much money you make and your housing and utilities are free plus you get paid for food.
Its ridiculous when a woman tells the biological father of her child that she wants nothing from him, then finds out he is no longer single then demands child support (over a year after the last time they saw each other in fact). It is even more ridiculous when the legal system set in place to protect the rights of the child allow its practices to exploit the rights of the non custodial parent.
It sounds like you have a particular person in mind.
ReplyDeleteI receive child support for my oldest, but we only use that money for him, like when he needs clothes, or school lunch money, etc. We don't even keep the debit card the money goes to in our wallets where it's available to us. It stays in the house until he needs something.
I completely agree with your view point though. I know a "mom" who has custody of her kids, receives alot of support from the father and still sends her kids to school in clothes that are too small or dirty, etc. It's sickening.